In search of Oldbury’s Incredible Bulks #1

One of my favourite TV shows as a kid was The Incredible Hulk- a story of a man with a secret who hid a monstrous creation of his own making, but travelled around from place to place picking up  casual jobs before leaving total devastation in his wake before moving on to the next set of disaster.

David Banner was the archetypal “hero”, a quiet scientist who turned into the Hulk when he became angry after having been exposed to gamma radiation- thus is the accepted narrative. But Banner was really an identity fraudster, a serial shagger and philanderer who brought total chaos every episode to those whose paths he crossed, before moving on and packing up his troubles with that old shoulder bag.

My hero was never Banner, and not Lou Ferrigno as the hulk- it was the journalist Jack McGee. Jack was always sure he was onto something and knew a good story when he saw one. No one dialled a telephone like Mr National Register , or gave out his card with such effortless panache, and his tenacity and cunning were legendary superpowers that should have led to his own spin off show- “Jack McGee investigates” perhaps.

and Chuck Norris’ aircraft carrier when he farted in his bath!

The audience knew he was always right, despite the clueless protagonists other than Banner rather stupidly carrying on thinking he was some crank. Mr McGee was no tin foil hat wearer. He knew that meddling scientists were the downfall of nature, and that by trying to change it brought catastrophic consequences. 

Go get him Jack! This even looks like Rattlechain . LOL

But Stan Lee, the co creator of the piece disappointed me every week, as my hero had to accept that the green meanie and his Dr Jekyll were always one step ahead in covering up their grubby tracks, before we saw Banner skulking off to the strains of the piano melody. Oh just once that Jack would collar the elusive Banner’s deception, but alas he was not given the opportunity- as that would have been the end of the show wouldn’t it really?  Jack never even got as much as his own action figure- for fucks sake!

But in honouring my fictional hero, it appears that I too have been on the trail for some time , sparing no expense with my investigative vigour, about a story involving a creature of toxic pollution of differing sorts- except this one is for real. It has been seen and spotted on numerous occasions in The Oldbury area, and in particular in Langley and Tividale, where it has a lair. 

But these are metaphorical hulks rather than a man- and one which involves chemical volatility- and you too would not like to make it angry if you came into contact with it when changing from state to state.

  • I have looked at “The Oldbury Smell”– a fiendish pussy , and The West Midlands own beast of Bodmin in olfactory form.
  • Outed British agent Alf Loveless of Albright and Wilson, who after touring the Nazi phosphorus war machine factories shortly after WW2 on behalf of the British Government, developed the new phosphorus furnaces at Oldbury and Portishead, no doubt informed by what he had seen there. Who said war didn’t pay for this “Quaker” company?
  • I have revealed the disgusting dumping of sulphuric acid on land scheduled for housing that became the Temple Way estate, house builders being aided and abetted by the authorities in the process.
  • Revealed the investigation report into Rhodia’s uncontrolled off site release of phosphine gas, when The Health and Safety Executive officers had deliberately attempted to obfuscate the report with redactions, and thus cover up embarrassment for their chemical industry mates.
  • And of course, the Rattlechain lagoon story itself and the white phosphorus poisoning of wildfowl by a banned rat poison, in tandem with a useless and incompetent regulation for decades.
  • How many former marl holes were infilled with chemical and demolition waste crap, which made tatters a fortune, and a misery for the poor buggers who lived there? These “incredible bulks” truly are a very dangerous legacy.

 Another hulk of Oldbury is a blue one and not a green one, which I will look at another time, which went by the name of “Billy”. But is there a Banner figure I ask myself that is in some strange way tied to the fate of all of these toxic piles and infilled lagoons? Did he move on from place to place apparently helping people with their issues and with a different job, shifting Oldbury’s blue hulk around him before moving onto another mess and creating another toxic legacy? Damn, I almost had it then…. I guess I’ll just have to keep on looking to get to the truth…..

 

 

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